It has happened......

          Finally it has happened! I am glad it has too! I know, I know, it's been obvious I have been having a hard time with the language and little things here and there. Trying to adjust in a new country isn't necessarily hard. When it's for REAL however, that is when it becomes hard. At least for me.
          There were days I could tell I was almost feeling I was at home. But then I would rush in and change from my slippers to shoes. Maybe I would start outside... then slip back inside because I had forgotten to even put a tiny bit of effort into taming my hair. That is not to say that it would work, my hair can be quite unruly!
          These things are easy for me when I feel I am at home. I feel strong enough within myself to just be, no matter what kind of stresses are hampering my life. I don't care if I leave the house with my pajamas on. Forgetting to brush my teeth, if I'm only running to the corner store. I am confident enough in myself and love myself enough that I don't care about others opinions of me. What can still hold me back is if I feel I don't belong.
          I am not implying that I fit in. I gave up the ghost on that one years ago! I will always be a foreigner here. Anyone who lives outside of their native land will always be a foreigner. I also want to point out that there is one home I have been feeling all along. My heart has been at home since I saw my boyfriend's smile waiting for me at the airport.
          It's the literal, physicality of living here, that I wasn't feeling. I'm not sure I even realized it to be honest. Today, I was taking a short trip to the shop. I was walking and thinking in Spanish about all the things I had to do after lunch today. I was halfway there before I realized that not only, was I in my slippers still. I was ALSO still without my bra. I hadn't even looked at my hair since I threw it up in a bun (without looking in the mirror), and although I had brushed my teeth I felt like I still needed to.
          I was only halfway there. So if I had turned back around right then, that would have cut three quarters of an unpresentable trip. However, I just kept walking. I didn't even make a decision. I just went on. On the way back, it hit me. I finally feel like I live here.
          Not only does my heart feel like it has a home here (as it has since the day I arrived). But I actually physically feel like I am here. And it feels good. It doesn't take away the struggles, stresses or potential problems that might come my (our) way. It is comforting all the same.

Now on to lunch!

kimbersfrog