He went to pee in his pants. He came back in undies and a smelly shirt

          Okay, first you have to understand a little bit about how we were set up. Not a lot don't worry. The hostel that I made as my home away from home in Edinburgh for a while was huge. They had a giant main side that all the transients stayed in. But if you ended up staying for an extended amount of time you would be moved to a smaller area. We called it the 'long termer' area. (or something close to that) As a result, we all knew each other fairly well, or at least knew who the other was. In fact a lot of us even worked in the hostel for at least a little while (and oh how I loved cleaning toilets). The only time someone stayed on that side that was only staying for a weekend, a night, or a week was if there was a big footie weekend and they needed extra beds.
          The second thing you must know about is a guy. There was a long termer, who shall remain nameless, who had a particular odor. All the time. You might even call it a stench. If you smelled this singular funk before you turned a corner, you could be fairly sure that he was only a few yards away. He was a very nice guy don't get me wrong. A little odd,  maybe a lot, but nice.
          One day, I was hanging out in one of the big spaces outside my old room with some friends. This happens to be outside two bathrooms as well. I kept thinking.... I smell ______. Finally I just interrupted conversation, and asked, "does anyone else smell _______?" Yes, but they all thought it was too strange to be true. He was nowhere to be seen or heard, and his room was on a different floor. In the end, we found a pair of his shoes and one of his shirts under the sink in the bathroom. In a closed cabinet. These things happen I guess (NO they DON'T). There were many stories of roommates telling there roomies to put their shoes on the window ledge, etc. to avoid the room (and ostensibly themselves) being polluted with suffocating stink. Fair enough. Maybe this is what had happened to ______.
          Well, then came a footie weekend. This was months later. I was in another room down the hall. I was even near two different bathrooms. (the amount of bathrooms in that place was awesome- except when it was my job to clean them all!) One of these bathrooms had become a sort of closet for my roommates and I. The showers didn't work, nobody used it, so there it is. My roomies and I got along well. In fact that night a few of us were up late chatting and I think we might have been playing cards. I'm not really sure about the cards though. That could be a factoid. Just sayin'.
          At some point in the middle of the night (why were were still sitting at our uncomfortable table in uncomfortable chairs I have no idea), the two guys who had been put in our room for the footie weekend stumbled in. They were both on top bunks. We watched this process with a mix of amusement, a dash of anxiety and perhaps a bit of admiration. Oh, come on, that's what world's funniest videos is all about right? I do believe I was the most stupefied (and really glad I was on the bottom bunk!)
          Then of course, we went right back to talking, laughing, whatever. There were also no worries of keeping these guys awake. They were out for the count. Oh did I forget to mention one of them stripped down to his underwear before getting into bed- how he managed without falling over, I will never know.  And then it happened.
          One of the guys said something. That got our attention. It was unintelligible if I remember correctly. Shortly thereafter, he sort of half threw himself and half climbed off the bed. It was yet another impressive feat. He proceeded to put on his pants and head out the door. We watched silently. And like children, as soon as the door shut the laughter started.
          After what seemed like forever, he came back in. Really, we were about to start taking bets on whether or not he would find himself in another room in the morning. As soon as the door opened however a truly bizarre thing happened. Something even I could not have previously imagined. I smelled _______ but saw a completely different person with the smell. Somehow, this guy had come back from taking a pee (that's the best guess anyway) and now smelled just like ________. Impossible. WE all sat stunned. Until, one of us nudged the other and we all saw his outfit as he was attempting to mount his bunk again. He was no longer in his pants. Only undies. And he now had a shirt on. He had no shirt when he left.
          Guess who's shirt it was. Yes. ________'s. It was very distinct not just by smell but by the band and specific wear and tear. So now our room had that funk we could not call our own. My roomie took photos. We were beside ourselves. We actually waited up to see what his reaction would be.
           He was horribly confused in the morning. The first thing he noticed was his pants and wallet were missing. I don't know if he noticed us trying to hide our laughter. It was a slow process for him to realize he had someone else's shirt on. One of us suggested he look in the shower with all the clothes. Yes. Apparently he had gone to pee in the shower stall that didn't work, and changed his clothes after. 
          He needless to say, was not as amused as us. I do believe his friend was slightly amused. He might have been more amused if he hadn't been so hungover. I was a bit worried he might vomit onto my bottom bunk.
          That is all there is to tell. I hope you enjoyed.

kimbersfrog

Finally I braved the Beach!!!!!

          I am a person who does not tan. I begin with the glow of the moon (that description might be considered... 'poetic license' ). In fact, I start off so white I have fears that I could blind people when the reflection of the sun hits me. When people here started telling me I should be wearing a bikini (because it seems to be a cultural prerequisite) I kept wishing I could communicate to them how much of a hazard that could be. Just walking on the sidewalk, a car could veer off the road from the glare of my stomach! I think my dad put it best when he said, "He isn't allowed to go shirtless within 20 miles of an airport." I'm sure this is just a safety precaution!
         I do change colour as everyone does however. I turn varying shades of pink. Then I turn red. Red hurts. And is itchy. Try scratching the most extreme rug burn you've ever had. Not fun. That is why the idea of lying out in the sun baking does not really appeal to me. I don't get that beautiful brown like most people for one. In the end I end up, sweaty, bored, and finally, looking like a lobster. And pain. Right, let me run right out!
          I do love the smell, sound and feel of the water. I don't even mind the giant amounts of sand that sometimes fill your bathing suit. It's worth it. But when I'm by myself, I have two choices. I can go out get wet and get bored, fairly quickly. Or I can swim for exercise. I hate swimming for exercise. I find it tedious. Oddly I wish I liked it, for me it would be the best way to keep in shape. But all I can think is, "Back, and forth, back and forth, really, I haven't gotten back yet?, oh okay finally, forth, back..." etc.
          I have gone to the beach this summer. Only to take leisurely strolls in the evening (once the heat has gone down). Sometimes I bring a book out or study Spanish. I wouldn't call that 'real beach going' though. The other day I finally went to the beach for real. The first time this summer. I loved it! I went with my boyfriend. It really makes all the difference when you have someone to go with. We went in the middle of the day. Shockingly, I did not burn to a crisp. (Right, pick yourselves up off the floor.) I had forgotten, HOW good it really feels to swim in the ocean. And how quickly a wave can surprise you! Luckily I like the taste of salt water. Heh, heh. And I had someone to play with. I know it sounds silly, but there it is.
           On the beach, I also had someone to talk to, joke with, and listen to music with. That made a huge difference. I didn't mind the heat so much. I had someone to help me with my lotion (more importantly remind me to reapply). For the first time in a long time I had fun going to the beach- as a real beach goer!
          Any trials and tribulations, you ask? Well, I didn't burn as I mentioned. I also barely tanned. I was even laughed at when I jokingly pointed out how tan my legs had gotten, the next day. I will admit to getting a little beaten up though. In the water doesn't count. The rocky bottom, you are lucky or unlucky if your foot catches a rock wrong. (I was a little unlucky, not a lot). On our way to the beach I pulled a brilliant Kimber move, if ever there was one! As we were walking, I stepped on the edge of the sidewalk. You know, where the sidewalk meets the sand. I just sort of toppled down. Okay, I slammed down with a BAMMMM straight to my knees! Soooo cool am I! Maybe, that's why I was spared the sunburn for the day!
          That was my day. I enjoyed it immensely. I hope you are taking a day here and there to delight in something of your own choosing!

   kimbersfrog