The germ freak inside....

          I should begin with a brief history. My father comes from a family that implanted the fear of germs into their heads. If this is what you grow up with, many things can seem gross and washing your hands a lot might be the least of your cleaning issues. My mother on the other hand, came from a household of the opposite mind.
          The example that best describes it is this: Whilst my mother finished up her last semester in college, my father lived with her parents. He really didn't want my grandmother making him lunch everyday (even if he couldn't cook a bit), because she and my grandfather were being so good to him. So at some point in the first two weeks he decided it was time to start making some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Oooo yeah! This my friends is quite a sacrifice, I will tell you. However this is not about my dad being a fair man. He got all the ingredients (so many there were, heh), but could not find the jelly. He asked my grandmother. She grabbed it out of the fridge. He opened it and at once noticed the mold. Almost as soon as he started the sentence ("Ummmm, there's some mold on this..."), my grandmother grabbed the jar. She said, "Let me see that." Then she got a knife, scraped it out, and promptly handed it back to him, saying, "There you go, good as new!" My father left horrified with nothing to do but eat it out of pure politeness. And probably avoid all peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in that house for a while.
          All my life I have had a mix of these two things. It is a good balance. I have however not gone untouched by the 'germ crazy'. I am definitely not a moldy food eater. It is a categorical fact that I wash my hands much too often. And what goes on in my head concerning germs is the most embarrassing and ridiculous germ crazy of all. That is what this is about.
          I was with my boyfriend on the beach the other night taking photos. I decided just to enjoy the fresh air, the sound of the waves, and watching his cute ass take photos from time to time (instead of taking any photos of my own). We did have to find a good spot to put his camera on first. He was playing with light and time for these specific photos. From this spot though what he would really need is a tripod. Neither of us has one. What he decided on was a garbage can. Great.
          He has no germs issues. In fact, when I am out and about and can not wash my hands, I don't worry about germs either. Okay it might cross my mind, but then it's gone. I think that's just a survival skill I've learned over years of public transport, planes, just living life. But then as I watched him set up my attention was monopolized, not by the sea, the sand or even his cute patootie.... but by the garbage can and the amount of it that was coming in contact with my boyfriend's clothes and hands. It's making me cringe now... a week later. Eeeek.
          I tried (repeatedly) to reason with myself. It's okay. No problem. I'm not touching it. But the other thoughts came in. And these thoughts are the killers. I can't even believe I'm sharing them. They go as follows..... 
           He will sit on the couch when we get home at some point. The couch I share with him. Will he wash his hands before making dinner? Is he going to touch my face when he kisses me? When he hugs me all my clothes will get garbageness on them. And so on.
           A bit irrational? Yes. Extreme? I would say so. So I kept telling myself, 'Just don't say anything when you get inside. Get over it . 'Noooo, problem. Right? All I had to do was use the tried and true method of mind over matter.... right? Right. 
          Is this what I did? Well, I tried. Vigorously. In my mind. But the nagging, no, gnawing, growing stress of the gross out factor and spreading of the germs all over the house overwhelmed me.
          I think what pushed me over the edge was when my sweet boyfriend came over and gave me a hug and kiss (with hands on face, by the way). What's worse, he was making sure I wasn't bored or too alone. He was being thoughtful and loving. I knew that. Nevertheless, all I could think about was the germs. Clearly I have a problem.
          Sadly, I didn't even make it the 2 minute walk home before I told him to make sure to wash his hands before making dinner. I did point out that I knew I was nuts. He agreed. I changed my outer layer of clothes when we got home. Luckily he did too, he favors pajamas at night... YAY for me! (Was that too enthusiastic?)
          My point? I don't remember. However, if you have anything strange and pervasive that invades your thoughts.... work on it. I'm still trying. Still I do think I will forever avoid moldy food. Just sayin'.

kimbersfrog
          

         
         

Cuddling- what you don't see in the movies....

          There are so many things that happen in relationships. The good, the bad, the sex (heh,heh) and the funny! The funny is what I'm talking about today. Oh, don't winge about it, I know you were hoping for the sex!
          If any of you out there watch cheesy movies (or have been forced to by your significant others), you have seen many cuddly moments. Cuddle moments are sweet. Both people look happy. They look completely comfortable, in all ways. There have been times that I secretly and embarrassingly have hoped for moments like these. Shut it!
          The things I never noticed until recently, is that no one ever talks about that part of their relationship. Maybe they don't think it's funny. I however do. Shocker. I recently have experienced a few of these moments. I would like to share.
          First I will go with spooning. As wonderful as spooning is for a short time, it can be uncomfortable for a longer period of time. That is not the funny part. There are several things that can become unseemly during this special time. And they have!
          One: If the person being spooned (the inside) farts. It was a surprise fart, what could I do? 
          Two: If the spooner (person in back) sweetly puts his arm around you and rests his hand on your stomach, you should be sure you don't have indigestion. The sounds your stomach were making (that you were hoping he wouldn't notice), now they are definitely noticed. And felt.
           Now I will move away from the bed. Cuddling on the couch whilst reading or watching t.v. seems so lovely doesn't it? But before we even worry about comfort, let's think about logistics. We have hurdles to cross.
           We have the length and width of the couch to contend with. Is there an ottoman, coffee table, two small tables, or nothing in front of the couch? Or are there only two love seats? As I cannot speak for anyone else I will just speak for me. I will also make this the last example, because it should be the focus. It's awesome.
           Our couch is of average length but very wide (which I very much enjoy). We have two small tables in front of the couch. That is the set up. The odd part is that although the couch is average length, it only has two cushions. If either of us want to sit straight up we need to sit smack in the middle of a cushion. If we don't mind sitting on an angle, slowly sliding into the crack.... well then we can sit closer to the other person.
          Sometimes I sit a little closer. And as a result crooked. I have done this more recently as it has gotten chillier and sharing body heat is always nice (for many reasons, heh). A week or so ago, I decided to put my head on my sexy man's lap. It just seemed natural. And honestly, my arm was in danger of falling asleep, in addition to a small pain in my cheek from lovingly leaning on his shoulder. (I am also pretty sure he was not overly comfortable in that position either, but was too nice to say so.)
          So there my head lays. His hand naturally resting alternately on my head and waist, gently. Just like a movie. Humffff. Then it started. Apparently his stomach makes noises like mine does when spooning. The big difference being that when your ear is right up against it, it is as if you are listening with your ear attached to a giant speaker. Vibrations and everything. I stuck with it though, his hand on my waist was so sweet . Then I noticed something else.
          First I noticed he was shifting a little here and there as if my head might have the weight of the entire earth to it. It's possible I come from a large headed family. Or maybe just one piece of my head was pointy and stabbing his leg. Or possibly my head was heating his nether regions to point in which he felt like they had been stuck in a sauna- but not in a good way. I have no way of knowing. Also I realized I could only see the edges of the t.v. screen and two feet. I like my boyfriend's feet don't get me wrong, but I need the English subtitles when I can't understand something that is said in Spanish. This occurs about half the time now. Sad but true.
          So there you have it. The unfortunate drawbacks of cuddling. There are so many more, yet I am sure to try again in different ways. And there are some cuddling moments that have been perfect. They however are not at all funny, but sweet, personal and comfortable. I am sure some of you can relate. If you would like to share, I would truly enjoy a story or two, if not I hope you get a laugh from mine!

kimbersfrog


   I must apologize for my lack of writing.... I am working on my new schedule.... be patient. Please.