THEY'RE BAA-AACK!

                 Most people have had or still have recurring nightmares in their life. Some have them every night. Others have them only during stressful times. In fact, I'm sure there are a multitude of reasons for recurring nightmares, but I don't know all that much about them other than a few educated guesses. So, I'll stick to mine.
                 I think I was about 17 when I started with recurring nightmares. They were always about bugs. They were always stress related. The only nice bit was there was a little variety in the type of bug. That is, if you want to put a silver lining on it. The more stressed I was, the number of bugs increased. I would also have less ability to move and it would seem like the dream lasted longer before I woke up. I always woke up, feeling like I was covered with bugs and couldn't get them off. It was disturbing. Still is.
                As if these lovely bug dreams were not enough to rid myself of some of my tension (or possibly add to it), I then began to have another recurring dream. These started shortly after I was diagnosed with epilepsy and realized it was actually going to affect me for the rest of my life. I won't go into details about that one, it's really too disturbing. I could write it in a very funny light, but most people don't find these things amusing. Let's move on shall we.
               I don't want to imply that I was having these dreams every night. Thank the dream gods... I wasn't! It seemed like every so often I would get them for a few nights in a row, then they would just go away. It took me about 2 years to put together that they were stress related. Duh. No, sorry, I meant BIG DUH! Well, the hope is to get smarter as we age right?

             Luckily, at some point, oh I don't know, maybe 6 or 7 years ago, the second more disturbing dreams ceased. Bonus! The bug dreams randomly continued. They came less and less often though. That was nice. Lately on the rare occasion that I have one or two of these buggers, I think to myself, wow maybe they will eventually stop completely. Or maybe they actually in some weird way coincide with my epilepsy. I not only have less grand-mals now, but almost none of the smaller epilepsy symptoms rear their ugly heads either. Who knows really, it's still about stress, there are no two ways about that.

           Now, I am in a desperately stressful situation. It's coming from all sides. Don't get me wrong, I knowingly put myself in this position. I knew it would bring on an overload of stress, anxiety, tension- body mind and soul. Even so, I am happy I'm here. Truthfully, there is no place I would rather be than to be able to be with my love. That's another subject completely, one that I am consider private, sorry. Where was I? Right.

         So here I am completely stressed out... and whilst it took a good 3 months (shocking!), I started having more stress dreams. Yes, the bug dreams. Unfortunately, I have also started having other dreams that leave me angry at people I love. It's completely irrational. They haven't done anything wrong. They aren't even here. They are however doing horrible things to me in my dreams. Now really I ask you, is that fair? Is that fair to them? I think not. Who are these nasty dream gods, and what sick sense of humour do they have anyway?  I have said my piece.

   I will however probably post with something better later. Oh and just a small aside, I just noticed some ants in the house today. For real. They apparently like potting soil. I'm really not happy about that! I'm sure you can imagine.

kimbersfrog