In my household, we had very good meals. I don't mean expensive or healthy. What I mean however, is our meals were tasty! My mom can cook. Anything! And my dad, he can grill, mash potatoes like there is no tomorrow, and make some mean french toast! (We only recently found out he can make a wine reduction sauce... however we don't actually know if it was edible, maybe we'll get him to make it for someone who has taste buds someday!) The long winded point I'm making here, is in our wonderful dinners, we had a lot of garlic. We didn't have it in every meal, but we ate it a lot. Although I was a picky eater as a child (and teen), if memory serves, I never had a problem with garlic.
I knew from early on that people had garlic breadth, and apparently garlic farts (although, I wasn't really able to differentiate those from the other horrifying odors that emanated in our house... oh, well, we had dogs, right). I didn't ever actually think about the fact that I might smell like garlic until after college. And I just realized that now, as I am writing this. Huh.
The restaurant I worked in closed for a couple hours during the day. During this time I could have anything I wanted to eat for free! One day, I had the chicken garlic dish. Have you ever had that? Did you ever notice (especially buffet style), that the chicken looks an awful lot like garlic cloves? I must have eaten somewhere between 6 to 8 garlic cloves that day.
I had this great roommate, a friend of mine. She might remember even better than I how many cloves I eventually concluded that I ate. The reason she might remember, is because we were going to a pool tournament that night. I had gotten home and showered right away. When she got home, she was in the bathroom, I don't know... doing her hair, she like me doesn't do much in the way of preparation. She doesn't need to. Anyway, I came in, and before I even got to do whatever it was I came in to do...she said, "Did you have garlic today?" and I answered affirmatively, but still didn't really think I had that much, and I think I might have said that. Her response was, "You might want to shower again." (or something very close to that). I knew, it must have been bad. So I showered again. I could see it on her face when I came downstairs, my stench had preceded me. The garlic was emanating from my sweaty-arse pores!
We went to the pool tournament. It was going as a small local pool tournament goes, slow, friendly, and strangely captivating. Somewhere in the middle of it there was an old man who thought it was time to show everyone his potato shooter. No, that is not a euphemism. So we all went into the parking lot across the street, and watch him shoot potatoes. It was odd. There were only four of us in our twenties. The rest were regulars of that bar I think, and quite old. After 15 minutes or so of watching an old guy shoot potatoes (which was actually much more entertaining than it sounds), we went inside again to resume the tournament. About three quarters of the way through one of my games I walked by Mr. Potato Shooter to take my next shot. Just after I passed him, he says, "Hey, did someone eat garlic?"That was the night I began to realize that I might be emanating odors other than the air that escapes the cracks! Heh,heh. (Still funny, at almost 39) That is also when I noticed the societal preoccupation with garlic stink in America. I already knew, people had issues with odor, even I did. I just didn't realize that there was an objection to garlic. I really shouldn't say America, when I was in Britain and Ireland it seemed no different there. I was used to it by then. And frankly, I didn't care.
The last disheartening encounter I had in the states with garlic was at a wedding I went to. After the wedding we went to a bar. They had bloody marys. I've never had a bloody mary so good. It was even better than mine and my mom's (sorry mom). I couldn't quite place the ingredient, but I wasn't really trying. There was a lot going on. There was a girl from England there who I befriended. She was very funny, real- it was refreshing. She said, "Oh is that a bloody mary? I haven't had one in a long time. Is it good?" I told her it was the best I had ever had. She went and got one. She too was impressed. About 15 minutes later, she said,"Is that garlic in there?" It hit me, that's what made the drink so..damn..good! Then I told her so. She went and brought hers back, then got a different drink. She did have a boyfriend there, can't blame her. I am pretty sure I would choose garlic over a man more often than not. Now I don't have to.
Now I'm in Spain. The first day I was here I tried Gazpacho for the first time. It's brilliant, I highly recommend it. My boyfriend was really happy that I liked something so very definitely Spanish, he told everyone the first time I met them. I think he also knew it was one word I would recognize, that way I would feel like I was following the conversation.
The reaction everyone had was the same, laughing and the word 'ajo'. Ajo means garlic. At first I thought they were giving him a jab because his girlfriend was going to have smelly breadth, or wasn't going to mind his smelly arse. Then I started noticing how much garlic is in the diet here. And I began to pay attention to the reaction to me or my boyfriend after having a meal with enough garlic to fell a horse. There was NO reaction. This could mean people are just extremely polite. However, even his friends didn't say... damn you stink. Not his family either. It is possible that culturally it's not appropriate. But, all signs point to garlic not being one of the odor issues here. People still dislike, sweaty people being too close or smelly feet, but no one seems to mind garlic.
Obviously this has rocked my world. I am so happy about this, you can't even imagine. I never actually stopped eating garlic. I did however start at some point to worry about my odor. This used to irritate me greatly. I'm less worried about others catching a whiff of my very own personal wind.....probably because I think it's a little funny, and.. they really are quite nasty.
This is why I say that if I have misread the signs, or am deluded in any way, I am good with that. Please, don't ruin this for me. There are so many cold hard truths in the world that we have no choice but to pay attention to. This one, is fine to believe in whether I'm wrong or right.
Good night, and if you live anywhere near me, you might want to close your window... mine is open!
kimbersfrog
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