I must, ABSOLUTELY must, dedicate this story to a friend, who had the misfortune of being with me during this disturbing 'event'....you know who you are.
This is a story that should have been written long ago. I think anyone who has ever worked with anyone can relate to being irritated with their co-workers, even more those that... well, let's say, have "issues" with a co-worker or boss (quite polite, don't you think?), I think YOU might reallllly enjoy this!
I had a job, oh about 6 or 7 years ago that was my basic default job. I'm good at it and have alot of experience. For me it's a little boring, but I do get to occasionally use my artistic skills, use hand tools, chemicals (that smell oh so nice!), work with customers, sometimes I even get a shot at the power tools (always a bonus). At this job I was lucky enough to not only like my co-worker but also my manager. However.... and it does seem there is always a 'but' or 'however' when it comes to the work place doesn't it?, there was my boss. (There is no point in wasting any effort on his wife, so I won't, enough said) My boss...in all fairness- he is NOT and will never be an innately bad person. He basically is just an ass. Plain. And simple. Again to be fair, I don't actually think he means to be an ass, I just don't think he realizes he is, nor do I think he could help it if he tried. He's never learned how.
His assdom, as much as you might want it to be... is not the story. Only one of his asinine moments is. And my manager and I were oh soooo lucky to be there, if we weren't, there would BE no story.
There I am... bored, putting famed picture together after framed picture. There my manager is.... doing the same. Both of us trying to avoid our boss as much as possible, even more so as the day goes on. That day, as quite a few Saturdays he and his wife are going out with friends straight after work. This entails them changing clothes, bickering, huge amounts of aqua net for men (he may have created his very own hole in the ozone), and of course my boss' ever increasing level of anxiety. That part was always fun.
The more the day went on the more anxious he got. The more anxious he got... the more irrationally irritable at us he got. Ahhhhh, good times, good times!!! (It's a good thing my manager and I had a similar sense of humour and could laugh it off later or I never would have survived) So, you may be getting the picture. That day this was how it was progressing, but it was also not unexpected. We pretty much knew how to avoid the worst.
What we didn't expect was what came towards the very end. Maybe we should have. I mean for all his rules on appropriateness and what is and isn't professional, the man usually comes in with a stink that is too disturbing to describe. There are many things that should have given us a clue that SOME DAY something like this could happen. But who wants to believe such disturbing things.
And there we are, still working, my boss rushes up... looks quickly around by my managers tools. He apparently doesn't see what he's looking for. He rushes over to my side, and looks to my tools... still not seeing it. So he asks with a worried look, "Do you know where those little scissors are?"
This is where I should have blocked his view and said," No, I haven't seen them for a week." Did I do that? Of course not....I didn't even see it coming. How could I have not seen it coming? I still am a little embarrassed by that today. My manager looking on, I show my boss the scissors. He hurriedly grabs them and scuttles down the three stairs, and steps over to the mirror. Now just so you have a clear picture here, my manager and I have a clear close bird's eye view of him from the back (and front due to the mirror). What you probably didn't guess, is that any customer that happens by the back or even middle of the store... can ALSO see him and what he's doing. Keep that in mind.
He's at the mirror, not even 2 or 3 seconds before he starts trimming his nose hairs. And yes, they were sticking extremely far out of his nose... I'm glad they were being trimmed, finally, but really? In front of everyone? Could he not have done it at home?
Over his sink? With scissors that his EMPLOYEES don't have to use for work?
Ten minutes later, my manager and I stunned and disgusted. My boss runs up and puts them back on my desk. He has not cleaned them. Does he think I don't know that? I just watched him cut his nose hairs out!!!! I know he didn't clean the scissors! I was deeply disturbed at this point, but to the point of such shock that I was finding it kind of funny. My manager as well. Shortly thereafter, my boss and his wife left the store.
There was something else he did not wash. The sink. Again, I say really? I'm not sure what happened with the scissors, nor do I remember who cleaned the sink... but I'm pretty sure it was not me. Disturbing, yes. Crude, definitely. Vexing possibly. Overall I'd have to pick primitive.
kimbersfrog
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