It's amazing what a bad interview can do FOR you

     It's amazing what a bad interview can do for you. Yes you heard me right... FOR you. I've been in Spain for a couple of months now, and there are countless things I like about it. I even adore my boyfriend's family- weird right?! And the thing I love most here is my boyfriend. (All right, all right....settle down, it may be cheesy but it's true.) So, keep reading... or don't (I know there are some disturbing yet inexplicably entertaining blogs about bellybutton fluff... but I digress...)

    Communication. There are a surprising number of ways communication (or lack there of) can get in your way. Coming to Spain without much Spanish (I'm being kind to myself here), did not help either. I can see you smirking and shaking your heads in dismay... well, I can't blame you. The unexpected part, was how much I managed to get in my own way.

     We searched and searched, squandering away our time. I was getting increasingly stressed out. Through my head like a ferris wheel on speed my thoughts spun, 'will we have enough money? will we be able to work in the same place? will skype ever work? will the new meds for my epilepsy work?' All these and more. Really though, my biggest problem was not being able to communicate. My Spanish was improving... but at a snails pace.

     The reality of the situation was (and still is) the economy is absolutely horrendous. I didn't take breaks from searching to do anything fun, free but fun. Now my boyfriend is up north working for two months and I'm still searching. Real life. It is what it is.

      There is something I hadn't noticed yet. Whilst my inner strength remained in tact... my presence was slowly fading. The confidence people usually see in me was waning. Much worse, was my natural goofy, playful, and engaging side was also fading day by day. Generally I am the epitome of expression... not only my face but my whole body expresses whatever it is I'm talking about or thinking about. I am just an extremely animated person... who lacks control of the animation at times...heh. So I should have noticed that that expressive side of me was not rushing to my aide when I couldn't express my self in Spanish. 

      Just before my boyfriend left, he wanted to make sure I would take time for myself. Make sure I was happy, not too stressed out. I agreed with him, we had both wasted too much time already. I talked to my dad a couple days later and he said I should take time for myself. He said he knew from experience that the stress could eat you alive if you didn't give yourself some time (now I have a whole new view of The Blob).  I agreed, with dad. Wholeheartedly. I still worried. I still looked at the computer too much. And I definitely wasn't taking enough time for myself. Still fading.

    The interview came. I completely bombed it. I misunderstood what they were looking for. I presented myself professionally and calmly (and unfortunately a bit stiffly as well). At the very end of the interview, in just one question- I realized.... how very wrong I had been. I had presented myself in almost the opposite way to the person they were looking for.

    Needless to say, I was a bit bummed on the way home. As I got off the train however, I walked right smack into the middle of the first night celebration of The Festival Of The Pirates! I just enjoyed the rest of the night, watching, laughing, and listening to music.

    The next day is when it truly hit. If I had been myself. Completely myself. They would probably hired me right away. I was who they were looking for, not the faded scared, worried me.

    And wouldn't you know it...later that day I ran into my boyfriend's mother, sister, and aunt. This time I talked to them..... I not only surprised them and myself with my Spanish, but I was more animated than I have been in a while. That might have been the first time they have ever seen me that lively.

    So again, I say.... it's amazing what a bad interview can do FOR you!!!!!

kimbersfrog