I'll start by saying, my mother HATES it when she has to take photos of me. Or maybe I should say the results of those photos. And in all fairness, she can't get a good photo. I always have some weird, funny, and usually ugly or at least scary expression on my face. I am uncomfortable with photo taking. But even when I am caught unaware, somehow I manage to put Jim Carey to shame! I will show you a couple examples:
As you can tell these are pretty bad. They are not the absolute worst but I can not find those at the moment. I think these will suffice.
Now during these moments, I have no idea how ridiculous, scary, ugly and/or funny I look. This is probably good. My face is expressive, what can I say! I think my parents put it best when they said they didn't actually have to watch the movie if I was in the room. They could just watch my face and they would know what was happening.
I am lucky in some ways. I don't tend to spend much time worrying about how I appear to others, especially when it comes to being pretty or not. In fact I think that can be a hindrance to people really knowing who you are. That aside, I have finally found a man who loves and likes me for my odd, normal, crazy, strange, opinionated, etc. personality. Not what I look like. This is a whole new thing for me. Even better, I love him back! The lucky part, is he thinks (as deluded as he may be- remember I am only a year away from 40), that I am beautiful! I let him believe!
It's amazing really. Men can say, 'You're pretty.' or 'You're beautiful.' It might feel nice briefly, but if it doesn't feel like they mean it, or it feels like it might be for their benefit (how polite was that?!), it falls a bit flat. Sometimes it just feels like they are saying out of habit or obligation, I'm not sure if that's worse or better, but my heart sure didn't sing zippity-doo-dah! Now I have someone who really truly believes it, and I can feel it. That is a whole new world. I didn't know it existed. I didn't know I wanted it. Apparently I do. Weird right. This does apply to the point, don't worry. I haven't lost the plot yet!
My boyfriend is also a brilliant photographer. He has taken photos all over the world. Portraits, exotic wildlife, and places that are so beautiful the photo can actually make you skip a breath. Recently he has decided to take a few photos of me. Apparently he is one of the very few who is capable of taking good photos of me. My mother is very happy, as I have sent a couple to her! But DO NOT FEAR, my adroit skills for ruining photos have remained fully in tact. Yes, I can even foil the talented, creative, steady hand of a real photographer. Here are a couple of those:
We took pictures a couple days ago at the beach (not just of me- that would have been BOR-ING!). When we got home, I started doing the dishes (so my man can make yet another magical creation for dinner). All of the sudden I hear raucous laughter from the other room. The T.V. was not on, no music, I could not hear anyone outside... I wasn't sure what was up. I looked over. There he was on the computer. Immediately I knew. The photos were now on the computer. Something was hysterically funny. My guess... me.
Now, I can't imagine what it is. We've laughed at other funny pics of me before. But this was particularly strong laughter. Then he calls to me, "Baby, come here, you have to see this!" Oh boy. It must be good, scary, ugly AND funny! Just a guess.
It was. All of those things. What's even scarier is it was not a face that I purposely made. It was one of those 'in-between expressions' faces. So I might do it all the time. There were other funny ones, but they were mock faces. On purpose. My next thought: Facebook. He seems to like to put his least flattering photos of me on facebook. I don't mind, but I just wonder why. So I asked, "Is this going on facebook?" The look said it before he did. Yes. Great. At the same time, I'm kind of happy about it. It is funny!
Then I asked him why he very rarely put good photos up of me. His response was genuinely interesting. He said anyone could see a beautiful or pretty photo of me. But that part of what made me special (especially to him), was that I made funny faces, weird faces, scary faces, and yes... ugly faces. He said there are many other beautiful women who are beautiful all day. What they are missing is the humour and dorkiness of expressions in their faces (I'm paraphrasing here- but you get the idea). So, I of course made a face- old habits die hard!
Later, we were relaxing, watching a movie. (Okay this is not fully relaxing for me, as it is a bit like studying, but it is still nice) At about one or so in the morning I started to get sleepy. I yawned. You know the type of yawn that you can feel is going to relieve you before it really starts?! That kind of yawn. So of course I let loose with complete abandon. My boyfriend, happened to look over. He broke into laughter. The same laughter of earlier in the night. He said, "That was a really ugly face (still laughing and me too at this point), but I love you anyway!!! (more laughter from us both) How does such a beautiful girl do that with her face?" Then I said, "You can't be pretty all the time!" He agreed and we laughed again!
So now I leave you with a photo that as of yet, has gone unsurpassed in it's unequalled achievement of ugly. A photo to make you laugh and cry! I find it to be disturbing and refreshing really. This is in-between expressions:
kimbersfrog
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